Throughout the ages of man, the following question has furled many a brow in
an attempt to find an answer:
WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
These persons of renown might have answered it in the following manner:
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people
see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the"other
side." That's what "they" call it, the "other side." Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination
that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like
"the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road.
It's as plain and simple as that.
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY:To die. In the rain.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
It was a historical inevitability.
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of
the president of the United States of America in an effort to distract
law enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal
wrongdoing our highest elected official has been trying to coverup. As
a result, the chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing
and elaborate scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law.
For that reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional
immunity provided he cooperates fully with our investigation.
Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side
of the road until our investigation and any Congressional follow-up
investigations have been completed.
(We also are investigating whether
Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell,
alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any
useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
RONALD REAGAN: What chicken?
BILL GATES: I have just released Chicken 99, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook-and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of Chicken 99.
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken please?
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
I missed one?______________
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