Good: Your husband and you agree, no more kids.
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them.
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there.
Ugly: You're in them.
Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad: He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly: He looks better then you.
Good: Your son's finally maturing.
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door.
Ugly: So are you.
Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad: She keeps interrupting.
Ugly: With corrections.
Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad: She wants a divorce.
Ugly: She's a lawyer.
Good: The postman's early.
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47.
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas.
Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad: She's a hooker.
Ugly: She makes more money then you do.
Good: Your son is dating someone new.
Bad: It's another man.
Ugly: He's your best friend.
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