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1. Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.

2. Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat
cause kids.

3. It's not the pace of life that concerns me, it's the sudden stop
at the end.

4. The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

5. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

6. Living on earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip
around the sun.

7. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're
in the bathroom.

8. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my

9. Never knock on death's door: ring the doorbell and run (he hates

10. Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).

11. When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone
else decide to play chess?

12. If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing
your seat belt.

13. The mind is like a parachute; it works much better when it's open.

14. Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway.

15. There are two kinds of pedestrians...the quick and the dead.

16. Life is sexually transmitted.

17. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

18. A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

20. It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.

21. Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better

22. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

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