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When I was a kid, growing up on the Island, and television was the new big thing, there was a program where two kids, one called Bronx and the other called Brooklyn, had at each other, in their native tongues.

They sounded different from each other, to my ear, and a lot different from the propah English we all spoke in the Borough of Richmond (I hear they changed the name, is this true? Is the Island going to secede? Have shots been fired on Fort Wadsworth? Does the banner yet w-a-a-a-v-e? But I digress).

Please tell me da troot,' someone.


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