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Your crack re Tottenville is noted.

We who live here wish that you barbaric people who have the gross misfortune of being so close to Tottenvile, but are not deserving of living here on "God's Good Acre" (or so,) would not mention our name too often or we might have to resort to building a "Great Wall" to keep all you wild-eyed, frothing at the mouth folks away.

Do you remember those old ads that the "pinko liberals" among you used so effectively against our guy, Barry Goldwater, a few years back? They showed a saw cutting off the northeast of the U.S. away from the rest of the country and many feel that this ad was instrumental in poor Barry losing the race.

I think he should have countered with an ad showing a saw cutting off that part of Staten Island occupied by the wild hordes that reside on "the lousy New York side of the island." The ad could have shown your part of our beloved island floating off toward Carnarsie or some other God forsaken part of the world, with decent folks all over this great country of ours cheering wildly!

I am convinced that if he had he done that, he would have won the election and would have led the U.S. to its greatest period of glory in its history.

God rest his soul -- and preserve us from the heathen folk that howl just outside the borders of decency over here in Tottenvile way.

As you are probably one of those people who easily allow the wool to be pulled over your eyes (and just can't wait for "Hillary-You-Know-Who" to announce her candidacy so you can't start acting "ga-ga" again), I am going to pass this strategy along to the that fine, upstanding defender of lost souls, Rudy Giuliani!

Damn! Ain't this going to be a hell of a choice to have to make?

I wonder if it would be possible for us good, God-fearing, upright folks out here to secede from the rest of the wild, hun-infested wasteland just up the road a-piece?

I need to get in touch with a good lawyer and sue the britches off of them folks up there in Albany!

Hey, it's the American way, right?

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