Staten Island Web logo



Very good joke!

And while we are on the subject of "Willie The Weasel," how about this one?

“President Clinton’s Testimony” (as reported by Dr. Seuss):

Mr. Clinton:

I did not do it in a car,
I did not do it in a bar,
I did not do it in the dark,
I did not do it in the park,
I did not do it on a date,
Heck, we never came close to a
for-ni-cate!

I did not do it at a dance,
I did not do it in her pants,
I never did it in a bed,
If you think that -- you’ve been
misled!

I did not do it with a groan,
I did not do it on the ‘phone,
I did not cause her dress to
stain,
Anyone who says that is a pain!

I did not do it with a whip,
You can be sure that I never,
ever fondled Linda Tripp!

I never really acted silly,
With any volunteers, such as
Kathleen Willey,
There was one time, with Margaret
Thatcher,
I chased her ‘round, but couldn’t
catch 'er!
No kinky stuff for me -- not on
your life,
I wouldn’t ever -- not even with my
wife!

As to Gennifer Flowers? Those
tales of woes,
Was all paid for by my right wing
foes!
And Paul Jones, and those State
Troopers?
Thar just a bunch of party poopers!

I did not ask my friends to lie,
I did not hang them out to dry,
I did not do it last November,
But if I did ...I don’t remember!

I did not do it in the hall,
I guess I could have, but I don’t
recall,
I never did it in my study,
I never did it with my dog,
Buddy,
I never did it with Sox, the
cat,
I might have, once, with Arafat, I never did it in a hurry,
Why, I never once groped Ms. Betty
Curry!

There was no sex at Arlington,
There was no sex on Air Force One,
I might have copped a little feel,
And this, endeavored to conceal,
But I never did those things so
lewd,
(At least never in the nude!).

These things to which I have
confessed,
Do not count, as we all stayed
dressed!

It never happened with a cigar,
I never dated Mrs. Starr,
I did not know that this little
sin,
Would be told over and over again
on CNN!

I broke some rules my mamma taught
me,
I tried to hide it - but now you’ve
caught me,
But, I implore! I do beseech!!
Do not condemn me! Do not impeach!!
I might have got a little tail,
But never -- never -- did I ever
inhale!


Mr. Starr:

Did you smile?
Did you flirt?
Did you peek, perhaps, underneath
her skirt?
And did you tell this girl to lie,
If called upon to testify?

Mr. Clinton:

That is it! You’ve gone too far!!
I do not like you, old meany Starr!
I will not answer any more!
In fact - I think I will start a war!
The public is easy to distract,
When bombs are falling on Iraq!



Staten Island Web® Forums Index.