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> USEFUL QUOTES TAKEN FROM ACTUAL FEDERAL EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE
> EVALUATIONS:
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>
> 1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
>
> 2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."
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> 3. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
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> 4. "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been', but more of a > definite 'won't be.'"
>
> 5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
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> 6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
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> 7. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."
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> 8. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
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> 9. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
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> 10. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
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> 11. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
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> 12. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all > together."
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> 13. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
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> 14. "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."
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> 15. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
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> 16. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
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> 17. "He's been working with glue too much."
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> 18. "He would argue with a signpost."
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> 19. "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."
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> 20. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
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> 21. "When his I.Q. reaches 50, he should sell."
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> 22. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
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> 23. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
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> 24. "A prime candidate for natural deselection."
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> 25. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
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> 26. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
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> 27. "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
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> 28. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
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> 29. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
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> 30. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
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> 31. "It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
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> 32. "One neuron short of a synapse."
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> 33. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
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> 34. "Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes."
>
> 35. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
>



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