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I was noticing the chestful of medals worn by one of our top generals who appeared on the tube the other day and got to wondering, "What about us, the civilians who've had to live through all of these wars that seem like so many bad dreams. What kind of campaign ribbons do we get to wear, showing that we've been there, done that, too."

Let's see, there was:

The Cold War,
The Korean War aka police action,
Quemoy and Matsu,
The Gulf of Tonkin, real or fake,
North Korea's capture of our spy vessel Panama in their waters,
Vietnam, before, during, and after;
Somalia, Mogadishu,
Desert Storm, Desert Shield, in Iraq, and aftermath;
Today the Balkans,
Tomorrow the World.

Plus the ones I've left out by mistake which you're invited to add. And I didn't even go into the good conduct medals I deserved for the times I wasn't earning the bad conduct ones.

Imagine what we'd look like walking around with a chestful of fruit salad like that; we civilians might even get a little respect.

Instead of a pilot's wings, maybe a tv screen would go nicely above the pocket to show how I spent the war; next to that a keyboard to show my contribution; next to that a ballot to show where I stood.

That's what I call something even the generals might look twice at.


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