"You could throw her in the river and skim ugly for two days."
The Beverly Hillbillies
"A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn."
"What insight could you possibly hope to gain from a man whose I.Q. wouldn't make a respectable earthquake?"
L.P.: "She's from one of California's first families."
Chico Rodriquez: "Oh, is she Mexican, too?"
--Chico and the Man
"If you've enjoyed this program just half as much as we've enjoyed doing it, then we've enjoyed it twice as much as you."
Monty Python's Flying Circus
"You're nothing but a tiny dot, a speck, a minute insignificant nothing. But I'm proud to call you my friend."
The Andy Griffith Show
"I've never felt closer to a group of people. Not even in the portable johns of Woodstock."
ON THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO
"If you make it to one hundred, that fat weather guy will say your name on TV."
ON THE LEGAL PROFESSION
"It's not enough that all the lawyers are crooks. Now the crooks are becomin' lawyers."
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