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I Care Robert Sheridan FawCawnahs bobsheridan@earthlink.net DJ wrote: "...it became a very dark and hateful place. But Staten Island is my homeplace and I feel a very strong pull
towards many of you. I decided to pop back in here. Things had changed. This place was back to its happy self and I was very happy to be back. Things were light hearted and people (all people) seemed to be getting along."

I've felt the same way when someone posted something that rubbed me the wrong way. I've continued along here for similar reasons.

My first reaction when someone tries to correct me on a matter of opinion is to get defensive and ask "Who does he think he is?" After I calm down in awhile and think about it, I can usually figure out what p*ssed him off and devise a way to avoid doing that again.

I figure I'm not here to make enemies.

What that usually means is not hitting the Send button quite so fast. I write how I feel when I'm hot, but it's not necessarily such a good idea to hit that Send button until I've sat on my feelings for awhile. I don't always do that though.

I like to debate. Always have, even before I'd heard the word. Debating is fun for me. The more the other guy fights back, the more I like it, like a fish on the line. He probably feels the same way, so we go at it and it gets ugly. But it's exciting and fun.

When it's over, we have to restore the peace. Calmness reigns until the next tempest in a teapot.

One of my favorite sparring partners is LaDoo. I don't mind it when he announces I'm wrong, or even "partially wrong," as that leaves it up for grabs. The jury will decide.

It's when he tells me I'm right that I have to wonder what I did wrong. I think I'm going to start telling him when he's right. Do you think he'll appreciate that? We'll see.

This is a new medium. The rules haven't been all invented. In fact, I don't think there are any rules. At least I haven't seen 'em.

So we're left with how we feel and our own good judgment, which will conflict. After the brouhaha, I think it's wise to do as DJ did, which was to come back after the thing calmed down a little and say maybe I could've been a little calmer in presenting my views, even tho' I wuz ticked.

It's big of a person to do something like that. It's big of the others to accept it. You might be next.

Of course we all think we were right the first time, otherwise we wouldn't have said it. Still, people got rubbed the wrong way and we need to smooth down the feathers.

I also think it's good to state when your nose has been rubbed the wrong way by form or content. The post-er always then says, "You don't have to read it," but we do. We all read the posts, or a lot of them. So the occasional dirty joke list stinks up the joint and says way-too-much about the level of the post-er.

ISTM that if we keep hearing the same criticism of our posts, "A word to the wise..." We can either try to get along, or, stink up da joint.

Debating, discussing, and disagreeing, strenuously, is not the same as disrespecting or putting down the other party.
You don't discuss with people you don't respect. You ignore them. Of course, if you go out of your way to disrespect and put somone down, you're asking for trouble and it's harder to restore a little harmony around here.

So we've all got to be on our toes. The calmer, the more analytic, and explanatory the post is, the better it seems to be accepted. You can tell the person is trying to be thoughtful and considerate of other's feelings.

It's those "Shoot from the hip," posts that seem to cause most of the controversy. I should know!

-rs



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