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A Blonde's Wish Ken Parese PoTown kparese@vh.net Subject: Blondes



Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
A: She thought it was diet coke.
Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
Q: What is every blonde's ambition in life?
A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.
Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proofreading.
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W's.
Q: Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A: Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Q: How does the blonde car pool work?
A: They all meet at work at 7:45.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who just bought an A.M. radio?
A: It took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.
Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.
Q: Why don't blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.

Q: Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A2: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off...
Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: Why did they stop doing the "WAVE" at the local high school football games?
A: Too many blondes were drowning.
Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?
A: Peroxide.

Q: What is the definition of gross
ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.
Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk
asked if he should cut it in six or twelve
pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve
pieces."

-------------------------------------

Two blondes were trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Blonde#1: I can't seem to get this door
unlocked!
Blonde#2: Well, you'd better try harder,
its starting to rain and the top is down!

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A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a
minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and
turned around and drove home.

KP in PK



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