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Things that took me years to learn C Connelly mcgil mmmg@netscape.net 17 THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME YEARS TO LEARN:

1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.

2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word
would be: meetings.

3. There is a very fine line between hobby and mental illness.

4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never
want you to share yours with them.

5. And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its
glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His
messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6. You should not confuse your career with your life.

7. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too
seriously.

8. When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one
individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very
often, that individual is crazy.

9. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10. Never lick a steak knife.

11. Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

12. The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

13. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling
reason why we observe daylight savings time.

14. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down
inside, we all believe that we are above average drivers.

15. The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy
people who are not in them.

16. A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
person.

17. Your friends love you, anyway.



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