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Letter From A Redneck Mom Rose Paterno Jan Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow because I know you can't read fast We don't live where we did when you were home
Your Dad read in the newspapers that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your home so we moved.I wont be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though. last week I put a load of wash in and pulled the chain. We haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here.It only rained twice last week;the first time for three days and the second time for four days.
About that coat you wanted me to send you,your uncle Billy Bob said it would be too heavy to send with the buttons on so cut them off and put them in the pockets.
Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning, I haven't found out if you are ant or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.
Uncle Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the norm has happened.
Your favorite Aunt

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