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The Queen Mum's Establishment Linda Sura Liza(1) The Queen Mum wanted the best of everything for her new establishment but being an astute business woman, she also wanted it at a fair price. Little Leeza Brown convinced her that she could get the best mattress deals in the kingdom if she would allow Leeza to negotiate. Leeza was a mattress expert and she knew she could also make money on this deal.
Once the Queen Mum approved, Little Leeza Brown decided to go home and change first and then head straight for the Sleep Sleeze bedding shop.
She sashayed into the shop, dressed in her black lace nightie she recently purchased at Freddie's of Ho-lay-would and her red 8 inch stilettos left over from the sidewalk sale at Tomecan's and walked right up to the salesman.
"I'm looking for a few good beds. I want to stick with a name brand such as Squealy Posturpedic, Squirta Purrrrrfect Sleeper, or Seemons Beauty Fest.
"What sizes do you need?" asked the salesman
"Queen size."
"I see. Do you prefer something firm?"
Leeza smiled seductively at the young man. "I want something firm, but it also has to contour."
The salesman stammered and blushed and Leeza took advantage.
"I don't want something too soft, I don't want something that will just sink in." She placed her knee on one of the more expensive mattress's and then leaned across the mattress. She looked back coyly at the salesman and showed him her dimples. "Do you mind if I try this one out?"
"Oh no! By all means, try it!" The salesman was already calculating what his commission would be for the sale of several of these beds and he was grinning like a fool.
Leeza laid across the bed, face down and rested her head on her arm for a moment.
Leeza turned and sat at the edge of the bed and looked up at the salesman with the innocence of a child.
"Would you please help me remove these shoes?"
When the salesman knelt on the side of the bed, Leeza lifted her foot and placed it firmly on his thigh. The salesman blushed again and fumbled with the tiny clasp at her ankle.
Leeza continued. "This feels soooooooooo firm and yet it has a soft surface." She bent forward and looked directly into the salesman's eyes. "I like the feel of it", she purred. "Tell me, what can you do for me?"
"I'll take a hundred dollars off the set!"
Leeza rolled her eyes and looked at the ceiling.
"Ok, Ok, I'll take two hundred off the set."
Leeza cocked her head and smiled. I had hoped we could make a deal but it looks as though I will have to take my business somewhere else.
"Oh no! Don't do that! I will take three hundred dollars off the set!
"Did I hear you say you would give these beds to me below cost?"
Leeza reached into her nightie and produced 20 coupons for the Queen Mum's new "retreat".
When the salesman read the coupon he grinned at Leeza and shook her hand.
"Good. I expect delivery of the new beds next Tuesday, the address is on the card. Then come and see me...and if you're nice...I'll let you give me a demonstration.
Leeza turned and sashayed back out the door. Once she was out of sight, she wrapped her arms around herself and giggled. She would have over three thousand dollars to put away in her piggy bank and she didn't do a thing! She figured she could give the guy a few drinks and then slip him a micky and put him on one of the boats.
Leeza sang, "On The Good Ship Lollipop" as she made her way back home. Once inside, she quickly dressed into her regular clothes and headed over to the Queen Mum's to tell her the beds were taken care of.

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