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Gore vs. Bush Robert Sheridan bobsheridan I concluded a long time ago that we really don't want a president who stands for anything. He couldn't get elected if he did. In order to get elected, he's got to stand for what these people over here want, and will vote for, and what those people over there want and will vote for, which is equal and opposite to what these people over here want and will vote for. Result: stalemate, which is exactly what we want.

Whyever would we want a president who could do anything?

He might do something and I ain't gonna like it one bit.

Or he might do the very opposite, and screw you, and you ain't gonna like it one bit.

So Mr. Rogers is it by a landslide and no one goes down the tube. What could be better than that? Another civil war over the issue of the day?

I don't think that would be fun.

No, I think we operate on the old Soviet system, where the workers said, "They pretend to pay us and we pretend to work."

We pretend to want a president, and the president pretends to act like one for the cameras. Result: Everybody's happy nothing changes very much. If you want change, go fight city hall in your own little town. There you might have some impact.

However, I vote every election, anyway. I do it out of a historic tradition that says I ought to, to set an example for my kids. I have no illusion that it makes one damn bit of difference who gets to play president. In fact, the better the actor, the more we seem to like it.

In the odd chance that the fit hits the shan while we have one of these imposters on the job, I just hope we get someone like FDR or HST who has some common sense and a stiff backbone.

I have this thought running through my head that Clinton,if had any of what the Cubans call real cojones, would tell this Miami Mafia where they can get off, defying the federal government while presuming to dictate Cuba policy for the rest of us, and take Fidel's one-day truce and extend it into a new era, kinda like Tricky Dick did with what we used to affectionately call Red China. That way we wouldn't find ourselves propping up Fidel, which happens to be the unintended consequence of our embargo policy of trying to weaken him. We did a pretty good job of keeping Saddam Hussein in power, too, now that I think of it.

Whatta Buncha Stumblebums we turned out to be.


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