SI Prep for Life Marguerite Rivas sipoet email@example.com
Art, I understand what you mean about the angry part, I just don't feel it, yet. As a matter of fact, I don't even feel like she's really gone yet. She feels so close to me. She was even at my mammogram, believe it or not. It's a long story, but the upshot of it is this: I and two other women were waiting to be seen and I was called up to do paperwork, sat down, went back up to hand it in, and sat back down again. After a few minutes the woman behind the counter said, "Is Marguerite here for her mammogram?" Now I thought this was kind of weird, her referring to me in the third person, but I just explained that I was Marguerite. She said, "What happened to the lady that was with you -- the elderly lady." I told her there was no one with me; she insisted there was and pointed to the empty chair next to my husband. She then went on to say, emphatically, "She was sitting right there and she followed you up to desk with your paperwork. She described her as elderly. "She was a little lady" she said in a kind of soft way. Well, that was my mother. She was so petite and beautiful to the day she died and every inch the lady. She exuded it. The technician described my mother perfectly. She even got up, leaned over the counter and counted the number of people in the waiting room. There were only two of them and my husband there. The other two ladies looked nothing like what the woman behind the counter described. When she went to take my mammogram, the technician kept repeating, "I know what I saw. She was there. She was a little lady." Anyway, after it looked like I might have cancer there for a while, I figured my mother was coming for me. I guess she was just there to comfort me. Now I miss her all over again. It was really cool that she appeared to a third party, too. If I said as much, nobody would have believed me.
Anyway, when I get over my denial that she's gone, (which does creep through now and again) maybe I'll get to the anger part.
Thanks for listening and for the advice, Art.
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