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The First Amendment Robert Sheridan bobsheridan bobsheridan@earthlink.net This discussion reminds me of one of the earliest off-color jokes I ever heard, back on StatNisland when I was anywhere from 5-8 years old. That's when I learned most of them. Don't think I've heard a new naughty word since. Oh, yes, M...F...er. The first time I heard that one, at the PS 29 schoolyard, around age ten (I musta been a slow listener), I was shocked. Now I'm shocked when I don't hear it. Usually it comes out "Muhfuh" and you have to know what they're saying.

At any rate the joke goes like this. It's the trial of a case of indecent behavior in public, and the eye-witness is called to testify, some young person, who is asked what he saw the person on trial doing with the young lady.

"They wuz f*ckin'" says the young man. In the original story he was black and the defendant was someone named Rastus or something, but we don't like to use those designators any more, for good reason.

So the judge gets angry at the foul language used in his courtroom and asks again, what was it they were doing.

"They wuz, f*ckin', yer Honor," comes the reply, and the judge says he's gonna ask him one more time what the answer to the question of what they were doin' was, and if he hears the same answer again, this time it's contempt and jailtime.

"Well, yer Honor,
His pants wuz down around his knees,
And his b*lls wuz swinging in the breeze.
His you know what
Was you know where,

And if that ain't f*ckin,'
You can give me the chair."

I'd be happy to represent you on a bad words prosecution, DJ, but couldn't you manage to bump someone off first so I have something to break down to a lesser charge? I'd feel like I did something if I did that. Besides, people charged with murder are usually much preferable clients. They usually appreciate anything their atty can do for them. I had a couple in yesterday who wanted to sue the DMV for a million bucks because they wanted the old man to come in for a re-test, which in their opinion wasn't warranted and isn't this a democracy. It took me a few minutes to get them out of my office, not before they hurled a few choice invectives at me for turning down their wonderful case.

Unwinding here is bettah than drinking, especially when I'm having one, anyway.

-rs



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