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For telemarketers Diane J DJ Lost What to say to phone solicitors who call to sell you credit cards, vacation packages, etc.:

The police photographer is still here, and the county medical
examiner hasn't released the body to the coroner yet. Can you
call back a little later?

What's that you say? Speak up, please, will you? The battery
has run down on my hearing aid. Louder, please, louder. Is that
the best you can do? I'm afraid we're just not communicating.

I'm gonna have to put you on hold. The baby is due any minute
now. Quick someone, get some hot water. Lots of it. Sorry, gotta
hurry now, don't go away.

Oh, it's you again. I was hoping you'd call back. The better
business people said I need more positive identification to file
my complaint. Now first let me have your name and telephone

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