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For the thinkers THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMMMM John Ritter JR ritter@interserf.net
THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMMMM

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

Why are they called APARTments, when they're all stuck together?

Sooner or later, doesn't EVERYONE stop smoking?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why do scientists call it REsearch when looking for something new?

Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Why do we put SUITS in a garment bag and put garments in a SUITcase?

How is it possible to have a CIVIL war?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

How do I set my laser pointer on stun?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?


If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game,"when we are already there?

Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate

JR



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