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THE TOP TEN THINGS YOU WILL NEVER EVER HEAR ONE WOMAN SAY TO ANOTHER WOMAN:
1. That swimsuit really flatters your figure! Would you mind keeping my husband company while I go for a swim?
2. Oh, look, that woman and I have the same dress on! I think Iíll go introduce myself!
3. His new girlfriend is thinner and better-looking than I am, and Iím happy for them both.
4. If he doesnít let me hold the remote, I get all moody.
5. He earned more than I do, so I broke up with him.
6. Iím sick of dating doctors and lawyers! Give me a good old-fashioned waiter with a heart of gold any day!
7. Weíre redecorating the bedroom, and he keeps bugging me to help him with the color choices!
8. He talks our relationship to death! Itís making me crazy!
9. Why canít I find a guy whoíll have a wild carefree night of s*x and then just go his separate way for once?
10. I just realized - my butt doesnít look fat in this; my butt really is fat!


THE TOP TEN THINGS YOU WILL NEVER EVER HEAR ONE GUY SAY TO ANOTHER GUY:
1. Does my butt look fat in this?
2. Iím tired of beer. What say you to a nice, fruity Chablis?
3. I canít stop fantasizing about Dr. Ruth!
4. Yours is bigger than mine.
5. I think those big, jacked-up trucks look ridiculous.
6. Thereís nothing I like more than a quiet evening at home, watching a movie on Lifetime about some woman who gives up her baby and then suffers miserably.
7. Want all my tools? I just realized I never do anything useful with them!
8. You know what always makes me cry? Those long-distance commercials.
9. Iím deeply offended by young women who go braless.
10. Our team lost 10-1. But we tried our best, and after all thatís the important thing.



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