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Womens Random Thoughts Harry White hrwhite 1-Insanity is my only means of relaxation

2-Reason to smile: Every 7 minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

3-Women over 50 don't have babies because they would put them down and forget where they left them.

4-One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

5-My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

6-The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

7-The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does

8-The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

9-Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

10-Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain

11-I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together setting my pantyhose on fire.

12-Amazing!! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes.

13-Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like, "You know sometimes I just forget to eat." Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat.

14-A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills, she had 14 kids, but she doesn't really care.

15-They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?" Clear as a bell my body said "listen, it and die."

16-The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, (and then they marry him...).

17-I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day!

18-I know what Victoria's Secret is. The secret is that nobody older than 30 can fit into their stuff.

19-If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?

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