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Excuses Harry White hrwhite leighnharry@earthlink.net During the past year, I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 12 times. The following list is why I didn't succeed often.
1. The sheets are clean. . . . . . . .54 times
2. It is too late. . . . . . . . . . .17 times
3. Too tired from shopping all day. . 49 times
4. It is too early. . . . . . . . . . 20 times
5. It is too hot. . . . . . . . . . . 15 times
6. Pretending to be asleep. . . . . . 15 times
7. The neighbors will hear us. . . . 3 times
8. Headache. . . . . . . . . . . . . .22 times
9. Sunburn. . . . . . . . . . . . . .. 7 times
10. Your Mother will hear us. . . . . .9 times
11. Not in the mood. . . . . . . . . 43 times
12. You will wake the baby. . . . . . 17 times
13. Watching the late show. . . . . .. 6 times
14. New Hairdo. . . . . . . .. . . . .5 times
15. Too sore. . . . . . . . . . . . ..16 times
16. Wrong time of month. . . . . . . .36 times
17. Have to get up early. . . . . . . 19 times
Of the 12 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because two times you just laid there, four times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, three times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, two times I had to wake you up to tell you that I had finished, and once I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move.



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