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Virii Charlie Joseph CharlieJ cajoseph@us.hsanet.net Ellen Degeneres Virus
Your IBM suddenly claims it's a Mac

Monica Lewinsky Virus
Sucks all the memory out of your computer

Titanic Virus
Makes your whole computer go down

Disney Virus
Everything in the computer goes Goofy

Mike Tyson Virus
Quits after one byte

Prozac Virus
Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care

Lorena Bobbit Virus
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy

Woody Allen Virus
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughtercard

Joey Buttafuoco Virus
Only attacks minor files

Spice Girl Virus
Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop

Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus
Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them

Oprah Winfrey Virus
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly
expands to 300MB

AT&T Virus
Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting

MCI Virus
Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the
AT&T virus

Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

Viagra Virus
Expands your hard drive while putting too much pressure on your zip
drive.

Freudian Virus
Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard,
or becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard disk.

Tonya Harding Virus
Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.

Paul Revere Virus
Warns of an impending Virus infection

Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus
Instantly turns 1 K of disk space into 1 meg.

Ollie North Virus
Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files.

Ronald Reagan Virus
Saves your date, but forgets where it's stored.

Jane Fonda Virus
Attack you hard drive's FAT.

Politically Correct Virus
Never calls itself "Virus" but instead refers to itself as an
"electronic microorganism."

Ross Perot Virus
Activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn
thing quits.

Government Economist Virus
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is
fine.

Federal Bureaucrat Virus
Divides your hard disk into hundred of little units, each of which
does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most
important part of you computer.

Adam & Eve Virus
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer.

Congressional Virus #1
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message
appearing on each side blaming the other side for the problem

Copngressional Virus #2
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't
allow the user to accomplish anything.

Airline Virus.
You are in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

PBS Virus
Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Jimmy Hoffa Virus
Your programs can never be found again.

L.A.P.D. Virus
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and
erases them in self-defense.

O.J. Virus
It claims that it did not, could not, and would not delete two of
your files and vows to find the Virus that did it.


Charliej



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