Virii Charlie Joseph CharlieJ email@example.com
Ellen Degeneres Virus
Your IBM suddenly claims it's a Mac
Monica Lewinsky Virus
Sucks all the memory out of your computer
Makes your whole computer go down
Everything in the computer goes Goofy
Mike Tyson Virus
Quits after one byte
Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care
Lorena Bobbit Virus
Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy
Woody Allen Virus
Bypasses the motherboard and turns on a daughtercard
Joey Buttafuoco Virus
Only attacks minor files
Spice Girl Virus
Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop
Dr. Jack Kevorkian Virus
Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them
Oprah Winfrey Virus
Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly
expands to 300MB
Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting
Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.
Expands your hard drive while putting too much pressure on your zip
Your computer becomes obsessed with its own motherboard,
or becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard disk.
Tonya Harding Virus
Turns your .BAT files into lethal weapons.
Paul Revere Virus
Warns of an impending Virus infection
Hillary Rodham Clinton Virus
Instantly turns 1 K of disk space into 1 meg.
Ollie North Virus
Plays a patriotic .WAV while it shreds your files.
Ronald Reagan Virus
Saves your date, but forgets where it's stored.
Jane Fonda Virus
Attack you hard drive's FAT.
Politically Correct Virus
Never calls itself "Virus" but instead refers to itself as an
Ross Perot Virus
Activates every component in your system, just before the whole darn
Government Economist Virus
Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is
Federal Bureaucrat Virus
Divides your hard disk into hundred of little units, each of which
does practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most
important part of you computer.
Adam & Eve Virus
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple computer.
Congressional Virus #1
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message
appearing on each side blaming the other side for the problem
Copngressional Virus #2
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn't
allow the user to accomplish anything.
You are in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
Your computer stops every few minutes to ask for money.
Jimmy Hoffa Virus
Your programs can never be found again.
It claims it feels threatened by the other files on your PC and
erases them in self-defense.
It claims that it did not, could not, and would not delete two of
your files and vows to find the Virus that did it.
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