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* Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.
* The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!
* You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.
* Friday you set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog.
* Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.
* A guest quotes a Biblical passage from "The Feeding of the 5000."
* That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.
* Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.
* You consider gluttony your patriotic duty.
* Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard & delete this

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