* Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
* They know stuff about tanks.
* A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
* They can open all their own jars and kill their own bugs.
* Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob them blind.
* They can go to the bathroom without a support group.
* They don't have to learn to spell a new last name.
* They can leave the motel bed unmade.
* They can kill their own food.
* They get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
* Wedding plans take care of themselves.
* If someone forgets to invite them to something, he or she can still be friends.
* Their underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
* If they are 34 and single, nobody notices.
* They can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
* Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
* They don't have to clean their apartment if the meter reader is coming.
* Car mechanics tell them the truth.
* They can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."
* Same work...more pay.
* Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
* Wedding dress -- $2,000. Tuxedo rental - 75 bucks.
* They don't mooch off other's desserts.
* They can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
* If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, they just might become lifelong friends.
* Their pals can be trusted never to trap them with. "So, notice anything different?"
* They are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
* They don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut or a bolt.
* They almost never have strap problems in public.
* They are unable to see wrinkles in their clothes.
* The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
* They don't have to shave below the neck.
* At least a few belches are expected and tolerated.
* Their belly usually hides their big hips.
* One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
* They can "do" their nails with a pocketknife.
* They have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
* Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes
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