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1) Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two for a dollar.

2) I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk ,noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She then carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

3) At a grocery store in San Jose, they have new credit card/ bank card readers at the checkout stands. If you don't know how to orient your card to swipe it through the reader, the checkout person will say, "Strip down, face toward me." ( Hey Maybe we should all go there - Could be fun)

4) A customer at a sandwich shop ordered "a small soda. The owner responded, "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have small, just medium and large." (Both cost 99 cents.)

5) Idiots and Computers:
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers.
One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question:
"I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

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