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Q: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
A:

Darwin:
Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way
that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Freud:
The fact that you thought that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.

Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The ends of crossing the road justify whatever motive there was.

Albert Camus:
It doesn't matter; the chicken's actions have no meaning except to him.

Oliver Stone:
The question is not "Why did the chicken cross the road?" but is rather "Who was
crossing the road at the same time whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the
chicken crossing?"

Bill Clinton:
It wasn't me. I wasn't chasing the chicken. There was no inappropriate relationship
between me and the chicken

Newt Gingrich
Because the Chicken was kicked out of the coop.

Jerry Seinfeld:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask,
"What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place anyway?"

Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their
motives called into question.

Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.

Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to
cross the road.

Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken nature.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.



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