Staten Island Web logo



Okay, wise guys, you want lists, we got lists.

We got:

Shopping lists
Laundry lists
Punch lists
Materials lists
Checklists
To Do lists
Want lists
Inventory lists
Stock lists
Product lists
Passenger lists
Star lists
Word lists
Date lists
Recipe lists

and more lists.

There are ban lists (contraband) and lists of prohibited activity (laws).

Did I say this site was degenerating into lists?

Maybe I wuz wrong. I wuz wrong once before. I thought I wuz wrong, then, but it turned out I wuz right. :)

Maybe, instead of degenerate (I wuz thinking of you) I shoulda said "elevate" or "refine" information into lists.

Life seems to be the reduction of seemingly unconnected thoughts that someone turns into usable lists. So we don't want to confuse reduction with degeneration, altho' around here that's pretty hard to avoid. :)

Ya know those cave paintings in France, the woolly mammoths and bison in the caves of Lascaux? Just figured out what they wuz. They wuz lists. Shopping, er, hunting lists, as in "Look, Bronk, here's what you've gotta stick spears into if you want roast beef at the picnic." They drew him a pitcher so he'd know what to bring back from his shopping trip into da woods and da fields.

I'm still looking for the mother of all lists, and I think I've found it. I wuz gonna let you guess, but I don't want you to strain yourselves while you look around for another canned list to hang up here. So I'm gonna give you the answer.

What is the mother of all lists, not counting cave paintings?

Da Alphabet, that's what!

Herman the listmaker, an ancient Canaanite, out dere in da desert, listed the sounds he made when he spoke to his buddies and he assigned each sound a squiggle. When he got to around twenty or so, he said, "That's enuf. Wid dis I can write just about anything we can say." And so he invented writin.' Just by making a sound list. Which enables us to hurl insults at each other through a world-wide set of wires, which I think is really kewl.

Did I forget to mention joke lists and wit lists? How forgetful.

Keep 'em comin.' Don't let me down. You might come up with a good one, one of dese days.

-rs



Staten Island WebŪ Forums Index.