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Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: The real question is: How much can the light bulb afford to be screwed for?

If you see a lawyer and a senator drowning, and you have to make a choice, would you go to a movie or have lunch?

Q: Why do they bury lawyers 15 feet deep?
A: Because deep down they’re not bad guys.

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