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You could be a redneck if.....

- Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

- Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

- You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr.

- You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

- Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.

- You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.

- You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.

- You were acquitted for murdering your first wife after she threw out your Elvis 45's.

- Your front porch collapses and four dogs get killed.

- The people on Jerry Springer's show remind you of your neighbors

- You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

- Your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby as a result of an alien abduction.

- You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

- You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.

- Your huntin dog had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.

- You think safe sex is a padded headboard.

- You think subdivision is part of a math problem.

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