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We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part of modern life. But you may have wondered What if God decided to install voice mail?

Imagine praying and hearing this:

Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following options:

Press 1 for GENERAL REQUESTS

Press 2 for THANKSGIVING

Press 3 for COMPLAINTS

Press 4 for HEALING

Press 5 for HELP WITH THE IRS

Press 6 for RAIN

Press 7 for "JUST SAYING HI!"

Press 8 for LOTTERY WINNING NUMBERS (good luck, we just guess too)

Press 9 for ALL OTHER INQUIRIES

Press 0 for this to all begin again


What if God used the familiar excuse..."I'm sorry, all the angels are helping other customers right now. Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received."

Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call God in prayer:

"If you would like to speak to:

Gabriel, Press 11.

For Michael, Press 22.

For a directory of other Archangels, Press 33."

For a directory of Seraphim and Cherubim, Press 44

If you'd like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding, please press 55, And then wait for the beep and then enter the number of the Psalm.

To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 77, enter his/her social security number, then press the pound (#) key, then date of birth, then press the pound (#) key twice.

For reservations in one of the Many Mansions, press the letters J-O-H-N, then 3-1-6.

For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth, where Noah's Ark is, Darwin, Hitler, abortion, and UFO's, please wait until you arrive here, they can only be understood from a "heavenly perspective."

For Lucifer, Press 666, and your call will be automatically transferred.

Our computers show that you have already called once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.

This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again on Monday after 9:30am, but before 4:30 ACST (Absolute Celestial Standard Time).

~*Donna*~



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