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Caution: this is Adult humor!

Dear Abby:

I am a sailor in the New Zealand Navy. My parents live in the suburb of Seatown and one of my sisters,who lives in Palmerston North is married to an Australian.

My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Auckland.

I have two brothers, one who is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Mt. Eden Prison, Auckland for the rape and murder of a teenage boy in 1994. The other is currently being held in the Wellington Remand Center on charges of incest with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former Thai prostitute who lives in Christchurch and is still a part-time "working girl" in a brothel. However, her time there is limited, as she has recently been infected with a STD.

We intend to marry as soon as possible and are currently looking into the possibility of opening our own brothel with my fiancée utilizing her knowledge of the industry working as the manager. I am hoping my two sisters would be interested in joining our team.

Although I would prefer them not to prostitute themselves, at least it would get them off the street and hopefully, the heroin.

My problem is this: I love my fiancée and look forward to bringing her into the family, and of course, I want to be totally honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who graduated from the University of Alabama?

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