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Posted by: Art on 3/26/1998@13:40hrs:
In Reply to: Re: schoolyard killings posted by: Gina - Art I gotta ask ya on 3/26/1998@12:21hrs:
I guess my previous posting sounded like I was exempting my child or me from these issues.
That was not my point, my point was that we are lucky that our daughter is a 'peacemaker' among her classmates, she is non-violent in the ways shes settles arguments and is at ease with us.....so far. I was confessing to Charlsey that my luck has given me rose-collored glasses. It does not say that my family has not been subjected to any violence, nore does it imply that anger and violence has never been espressed by any of us. I had no power over the boy in my daughters 2nd grade class who wanted her attention, so he walked over to her in the school yard, grabbed her by the neck, dragged her over to a tree and banged her head against the tree. The teachers did nothing because the boy was "adjudicated something" and they were afraid of lawsuit. We took her out of that school. She returned to the public school system in 6th grade, a much stronger and more confident kid. No one would dare do it again, even the bullies, because my daughter is respected. On the other hand, a kid who was constantly abused and neglected, who always resolved problems violently the way they are resolved in his own home, could come to her school and blow her away because she would not go out with him. This does not say that all kids who are abused are going to be killers like the kids in Arkansas. And it does not say that my own child would never resort to violence if provoked enough. I'm not clear what your point was, or whether you were reacting to my "attitude" or my "words" but I completely agree with you about the fact that kids make CHOICES and there are consequences connected with those choices. As parents, we hope that during 6 months to 14 years of age we have provide sufficient love, support, discipline and guidance to our children so that they make good choices. It is often said at "management" courses that most people establish their values between age 4 and 14, and then those vallues are fixed for life. Any additions or corrections to those values require "significant" emotional events. In the case of these two murderous boys in Arkansas, I am willing to believe it is too late.